


A Post-Playoff Rant Session

by sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum



Series: Pissed-Off Goalies Club [3]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum/pseuds/sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After disappointing exits from the playoffs,  Marc-Andre Fleury and Carey Price decide to rant to Tuukka Rask for a little bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Post-Playoff Rant Session

**Author's Note:**

> A third installment of the Pissed-Off Goalies Club series.

For the third time in just a few short weeks, three out of the four members of the Pissed-Off Goalies Club reconvened in Boston. Corey Crawford would have liked to attend however, he was preparing for the Western Conference Final against the Ducks.

“Hey guys what’s up?” Tuukka asked as Fleury and Price arrived at their secret location.

“You know the whole ‘we could have gotten a hell of a lot further but my team forgot how to score’ thing,” Fleury said, “But other than that not much. Did you ever figure out what was up with Bergy?”

“Yeah,” Tuukka said, “It was a dream he had. Turns out he had a little bit of a cold and drank just a little too much before falling asleep. My teammates are fine, two of them are playing in the World Championships in Prague.”

“That’s good,” Price said, “Your conversation with him was mildly concerning.” 

“Tell me about it,” Tuukka said, “But like I said, it’s Bergy. He’s like the living embodiment of the typical Canadian stereotype.” 

“That man doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.” Fleury said.

“So,” Tuukka said, “I take it you texted me because the two of you needed to vent about the playoffs. I’ll also guess that because I did most of the talking last time, I’ll be playing the therapist this time. Who wants to go first?”

“I will,” Fleury said, “Every single game we played in in the first round was a one goal game. And I had one of my best post-seasons yet. I gave up just eleven goals in the five games we played. Unfortunately, the rest of my team could only score eight goals in those five games. Four out of the five games had a two to one score. It was like hello? Crosby and Malkin, scoring geniuses? FUCKING DO SOMETHING! Granted we had some injury issues, Kris Letang was out with a concussion, Pascal Dupuis with blood clots and Olli Maatta had shoulder surgery.” 

“Olli’s a good kid,” Tuukka said, “I got to play with him in Sochi. He had some rotten luck this season but that kid is gonna go places.”

“I gave up three powerplay goals in that series,” Fleury said, “I wanted to staple Blake Comeau’s ass to the bench because I felt like he took at least one penalty per game.”

“I gave up four powerplay goals in one game,” Price said, “We had eight shorthanded situations in that game. They scored on half of them. My team took a ton of bad penalties against the Lightning, we  
played just a little too desperately.”

“Playing desperately can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing too,” Tuukka said, “Play desperately and you’ll play really well, but play too desperately you’re gonna make stupid mistakes.”

“Tuukka, I now understand the frustration you felt towards the rest of your team when you guys played us,” Price said, “My team played timid against Tampa. They let our horrible regular season record against Tampa get to their heads. I kinda wanted to smack all of them upside the head with my stick.” 

“I have literally handed my stick to one of our equipment managers before saying: “I don’t trust myself to not hit someone with this,”” Tuukka said, “That one game we played against you this past season, I was kinda glad they had me by myself after I got pulled. I was in no mood to be anywhere near the rest of my teammates after that.” 

“I also want to know how you managed that triple OT game against Chicago in the Finals a few years back,” Price said, “We played a double OT game and it was awful.”

“I couldn’t even tell you,” Tuukka said, “Everything after that second OT period is a blur. All I can remember is how fucking awful I felt after that game. Not because we lost but because I was so exhausted and dehydrated. I hate shootouts with a passion, but I think I would hate it even more if regular season games could go into multiple overtime periods like playoff games do. I mean could either of you imagine what it would be like if you had to play a double or triple OT game one night then have to play a matinee game the very next day?”

“No thank you,” Fleury said. 

“That would be pretty bad,” Price said. 

“I think if that were the case, I would fake an illness or injury for the second game,” Tuukka said, “I wouldn’t want to play in that kind of back to back.”

"How would you fake an illness?" Fleury asked.

"All pharmacies sell something to induce vomiting," Tuukka explained, "I would take some of that a few hours before a game. Then throw up enough times to be ruled out of playing. I'd also give the team enough time to call a guy up."

"That's brilliant!" Fleury said, "I'm gonna have to remember that!"

“Speaking of back to backs,” Price said ignoring the older goalies' plans to play hooky, “How did we end up having to play a playoff back-to-back in Florida of all places! Do you have any idea how hot and humid it gets there this time of year?”

“Uh, no thank you,” Tuukka said, “I spend my summers in Finland for a reason.”

“It doesn’t get that hot in Boston does it?” Fleury asked.

“Oh it does,” Tuukka said, “We get both extremes in Boston. Bitter cold and a shit ton of snow in the winter then hundred degree, one hundred percent humidity in the summer. Like I said I go to Finland for a reason. But I was a little confused as to why the league did that, I didn’t think they would schedule a back to back in the playoffs.”

“They did and it sucked,” Price said, “We managed to win one of them.”

“That sucks,” Tuukka said, “So what was up with that astronaut guy in Tampa?”

“Oh god,” Price laughed, “I couldn’t even tell you but he was a riot. He gave me a much needed laugh more than once. He kept me in a relatively good mood.” 

“I don’t know how you kept yourself composed with that guy dancing at you,” Fleury said, “I’d be laughing too hard to play.”

“All I had to do was look up at the scoreboard and that amusement faded,” Price said.

“Sometimes you need that little thing to make you smile in an intense series,” Tuukka said, “Sometimes it can make you feel better.”

“It really can,” Price said, “But then again so can breaking your stick.”

“I have such a hard fucking time breaking sticks,” Tuukka said, “I think I’ve only managed to break one on purpose. Usually my stick stays intact and I just end up knocking myself over.”

“You have to hit where the handle meets the paddle,” Price said, “So that the blade is pointing at the ceiling. If the blade is pointing towards the ice the stick is gonna be really hard to break.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever tried to break my stick,” Fleury said, “I’m very calm.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Tuukka said.

“I kinda wish that we had been able to make it further,” Price said, “I felt like we let our fans down.”

“I hear you there,” Fleury said, “I wish I had been a little better.”

“Me too,” Price said, “I let in too many goals against Tampa.”

Tuukka sighed, “Alright, I’m gonna teach you both something I learned this season. We’re goalies, we can’t score goals, make clean breakouts, make good passes, get the puck into the offensive zone or take shots on net. So if the rest of our teammates can’t do that it’s not on us. All we can do is stop the puck. Fleury, did you say that all five of the games you played were one goal games?”

“Yeah,” Fleury said.

“And your goal differential was what minus three?” Tuukka said, “That wasn’t on you. You said it yourself, you played the best post-season you had ever played. You kept the score as low as possible but your teammates couldn’t hold up their end of the bargain.”

“I guess you’re right,” Fleury said.

“Price,” Tuukka said, “You played one hell of a season, and didn’t you break franchise records?”

“I did,” Price said.

“Didn’t you also say that the rest of your team was playing scared?” Tuukka asked.

“I did,” Price said.

“Then it wasn’t on you,” Tuukka said, “You’re the reason you guys made it to the playoffs. I mean look at all the awards you were nominated for! You were nominated for what, three awards?”

“Yeah,” Price said.

“Well, there you go,” Tuukka said, “Just uh, a word of advice, prepare a speech. Don’t be like me last year. Don’t do what I did and nearly forget to mention your wife.”

“I didn’t think your speech was too bad,” Price said, “At least you didn’t start it “Aw Fuck” like Lundqvist did a few years back.”

“I was told: “Tuukka, DO NOT SWEAR” by Subban, several other people running it and my younger brother Joonas,” Tuukka said, “Trust me, I nearly swore but managed to stop myself.” 

“It wouldn’t have been bad if you swore in Finnish would it?” Fleury said, “I mean how many people in Canada and America know how to speak Finnish?”

“A lot Boston fans know how to swear in Finnish thanks to me,” Tuukka said, “So there are people who would have known what it meant. Not to mention the censor guy was given a list of Finnish swears just in case. Not to mention, I wanted to keep it professional you know. But seriously, prepare a damn speech. You may think you’ll be able to say what you want to up on the stage there. But there are a lot of people there. I looked into the crowd and nearly passed out.”

“That would have been kinda funny,” Fleury said, “Well, not for you anyway.”

“My brother said the same thing,” Tuukka said, “But I don’t think I would have found that too funny. Seriously though, prepare a speech, write it on a note card if you need to even if you don’t expect to win.”

“I will definitely do that,” Price said.

“So are you two feeling a little better now?” Tuukka asked.

“Yeah,” Fleury said, “Thank you.”

“I’m definitely feeling better now,” Price said, “These little sessions are so helpful.”

“Oh yeah,” Tuukka said, “Thanks for including me. Until next time?”

“Yup,” Fleury said.

“Oh yeah,” Price said.

“You have my vote for all the awards you’re up for,” Tuukka said, “You deserve it.”

“Thanks Tuukka.”

The three goalies then parted ways. Two of the three were quite relieved that the rest of the Bruins team was alright. But all three of them were looking forward to a relaxing off-season and a break from having to save their teammates' asses.


End file.
